Although each of my clients are unique with their own life experiences and needs, every one of them have one thing in common: a mindset.
Our mindset is a set of beliefs that affect how we respond to situations in life. These beliefs are developed from the time we are born and play an important part in shaping us into who we become as adults. Some may have a mindset that enables them to believe they can accomplish anything they set their hands to. A person with this mindset probably grew up being encouraged and nurtured by family and people close to them. But many people have a mindset that they do not believe in themselves. What I have learned with many of my clients is not only do they have a hard time believing they can lose weight (especially those who have battled with extra weight all their life) but have a hard time believing that they deserve the body they dream of.
So with every single client - this is where we start in the first session. Finding out where they are at with their beliefs. Because it does not matter how much they believe they can do it - if they don't believe they deserve it they will ultimately quit or self-sabotage and fail.
So why would someone not believe they deserve to have a healthy, leaner body, that they are happy with? Because everyone is totally unique, there is no one answer to this. It can be what they were told as child by parents, or how they were treated. Being constantly told they were fat and needed more discipline. Then as they age feeling rejected, with a constant reinforcement of not being good enough.
I've also found that people who have dealt with an excessive amount of weight their entire life - that while they constantly daydream about being thin, there is an underlying fear of it. Because it's foreign territory for them. They've never been there before, which leads to fear of losing it once they have it. "What if I lose all the weight and just gain it back?"
It's safer and more familiar to stay where they are.
I cannot tell you how many times, when working with clients, and they come to realize they don't believe they deserve it - a HUGE breakthrough happens.
So I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to pay very close attention to the very first thing that comes to mind when I ask this. Ready? Do you believe you deserve to have the health and body you dream of?
What was your very first thought? Was there any hesitation to answer "yes"? If so, you are very much not alone. Virtually every client I've asked that question either had a hesitation or flat out said "no".
If that is where you are at, you might feel a bit down about that. But, before we can take any first steps towards our goal it is so important to know where our starting point is. And if you lack belief in yourself, especially the belief of deserving - then this is where we start.
When coaching, this can be an in-depth process of asking questions and exploring your answers. This is done to eventually establish your truest motivating factor. This is the one thing that will be at the forefront of your belief system that will enable you to drive yourself to the finish line.
To better understand this - ask yourself some questions, and answer them. What do I really want to achieve? Why is that important to me? What will having that mean to me? How will having that affect my life? How will having that affect those around me? What is something I cannot or will not do now - that I would do when I achieve this goal?
If you do this, and really explore your answers, you may find that the deeper you go the narrower your reason and purpose becomes. You may even have an "ah hah!" moment when you realize why it really is that you want to accomplish this. THAT will be your truest motivating factor.
When you understand this about yourself, you have just taken your first huge step towards a healthier mindset that will become your greatest asset for achieving your goal.
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